Rabb mileya, Raanjha na mileya.
..Rabb Raanjhe jaisa naahi.
July 24, 2014
June 7, 2012
Feral
If you venture into the Himalayan wilderness, you run the
risk of becoming a stranger in the common world. Those who have been brushed by
these places are forever changed; the goals of ambition and desire become muted
when touched by the immensity and grandeur of the great mountains. To wander
alone in these high places, however briefly, is to become a prey to yearnings
that can never be extinguished or denied.
May 23, 2012
69
Alright, so this is when it goes live. Or maybe its just one of those million thoughts which cross my mind rightnow. I dont know. I've been thinking about writing again lately, more often while smoking a cigarette after sunset. Nevermind. I'm too abashed. As always, for anything and everything, you ask me anything and I'm all my sensory parts are pushing up the daisies. It's like being constantly immaculately irrevocably stoned. I'm too lazy to gather myself to execute the taking-the-laptop-outta-my-bag to feeling-hungry & discontented-after-writing ALOT! And that too for a muted audience. Not that I give a fuck, But I could do with a little help from my friends.
Talking of friends. I think as we grow older we keep losing these people who were once strangely involved in doing the same shit as you were. They came, they saw and they left or vanished into thin air, or maybe they they got hitched. At my age, the latter maybe the reason for the exodus. Anyway, speaking of Delhi people, you've gotta give it to them for being too smart (read - fake/plastic) for you. All of them diseased and living practitioners of the Blackberry apartheid! What is the gland inside you which lets you judge a person on the basis of stoopid phone? Most of you have it and most you are obsessed about it. But why the fuck can someone not have another phone! Why would you come up with sad-weird-smileys, make a face and look away when someone says "I dont have a blackberry" ..Blackberry smitten bimbos bloody all of you! I know most of you would come out in denial on this but I have personally felt it and I've never, never ever, in my life felt like a social outcast but then I have been nagged, scoffed and even molested for not having a blackberry phone umpteen times. Although seeing the idiocy, might I add, I am proud of being one.
One thing you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug.
The uselessness shall continue.
Talking of friends. I think as we grow older we keep losing these people who were once strangely involved in doing the same shit as you were. They came, they saw and they left or vanished into thin air, or maybe they they got hitched. At my age, the latter maybe the reason for the exodus. Anyway, speaking of Delhi people, you've gotta give it to them for being too smart (read - fake/plastic) for you. All of them diseased and living practitioners of the Blackberry apartheid! What is the gland inside you which lets you judge a person on the basis of stoopid phone? Most of you have it and most you are obsessed about it. But why the fuck can someone not have another phone! Why would you come up with sad-weird-smileys, make a face and look away when someone says "I dont have a blackberry" ..Blackberry smitten bimbos bloody all of you! I know most of you would come out in denial on this but I have personally felt it and I've never, never ever, in my life felt like a social outcast but then I have been nagged, scoffed and even molested for not having a blackberry phone umpteen times. Although seeing the idiocy, might I add, I am proud of being one.
One thing you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug.
Also, this is attempt number 69 at writing a blog post. It should workout this time considering the enigma and fantasy attached to the number.The number of drafts I had saved could make half a terrible book or a full not so bad one. I usually begin my errands at night so half the time I end up sleeping before anything is complete.
The uselessness shall continue.
September 28, 2011
Scrolling down an empty page
I miss her, so much that I want her. I want her back. I want her now. I am going crazy. I want her back. I want her now. Fully and Unconditionally, maybe I'd even settle for a glimpse. I just want to see her. Rightnow. In my constant state of objectivity and dreams. I want to burn myself and I want to see her through the fire. I want her beyond any thought or expression. It's like everything around me is disintegrating by itself as I am looking for her in unknown time spheres. From an average sociable chap to an ambiguous inconspicuous drug-addled bastard who fails to pursue anything or anyone. Fuck, I just hate this city. I hate everybody. Slowly banishing the angels inside me, slowly getting to disbelieve in love and existence. There is space where I am, I dont know how did I get here. I dont want you to find me. I just want to see you in a unparalleled plain of white snow, as happy as one would be seeing the Sun.
I know you're there. I know you care. For people you love. Just yesterday it seems, you sat across the table. Red liquid in your glass. Red paint on your nails. The smile and it's treat. My heart skippin' beats. Your hands. The fingers which lay still. The hair on your face. The shining dot on your nose. The apple of your eyes. The story you had to tell everytime. The message it gave. The hope it instilled. The better man I was. They way you'd read out to me.
"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.”
"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.”
September 9, 2011
September 8, 2011
Getting Inside, Going around
How vain it is to sit down to write when you haven't stood up to live.
Took an off from work to see a six part documentary about the great human migrations out of Africa. Bliss! Just a wonderful day, i believe that TV could have been such a powerful medium. It still is, If it isn't for all the waywardness and lack of inquisitiveness to know about who we really are and where we actually live.
We are so disconnected from our habitat. It's just sad.
Took an off from work to see a six part documentary about the great human migrations out of Africa. Bliss! Just a wonderful day, i believe that TV could have been such a powerful medium. It still is, If it isn't for all the waywardness and lack of inquisitiveness to know about who we really are and where we actually live.
We are so disconnected from our habitat. It's just sad.
September 7, 2011
The End
The fact that I'm so technologically impaired can be observed by simply moving the balls of eye toward 5'o clock position. I am following my own blog! #canyoubelieveit (some weird tabs, too drunk to care what's written!)
The fact that the earth just dry humped Delhi with 6.7's on the ritcher's scale can be simply attributed to the fact we're pulling out everything from the hills, the great forest's and we don't really value life other than our own self. We don't give back one tenth of what we take from the Earth. It's We just don't feel the inter-connected network of energy and the fact that we're amongst the gifted and intelligent part of the system. Gifted in the sense that we can kill, we posses guns, missiles and weapon's of mass destruction. Gifted in the sense that we elect people who take out money from our own pockets to increase the defense budgets, spend to destroy a city/country and then spend even more to rebuild that city/country (read infuse democracy, liberty, free market practices). Gifted in the sense that we have made the Earth a college of corporations which isn't constrained by countries, laws, religions, anthropologies, topologies or calamities. All we want is money. More of it. Much more of it than we'd think of. Much more than we can handle. And only people who have most of it, have the right to live. The other one's are just not corrupt enough and their life has lesser or no real value. We have made the world a marketplace, where we're happy selling things to one another, without really caring for the source of all things, our planet. We're not really earthlings or anything but we're each other's clients. Just living in a delusion that 'everything's gonna be alright' 'life moves on' & other cliches made only for motivating ourselves & keeping our hope for our hollow lives alive (which literally translates to earning more money till we get screwed from a new position this time). We wait, we pray in hope for our own imaginary version of the redeemer to fix things for us, to solve problems for us? to show us direction in time of the great fall or something? STOP!
Just STOP. Stop living in a fucking delusion.
Just STOP. Stop living in a fucking delusion.
Look at yourself, you barely can't do anything except killing, buying/selling things, can you? Can you love? Platonically? Without secretly ranting for big dicks, shaved pussies and a silicone rack? Can you smell the dawn, the rain, the flowers and not smell the branded fragrances. Do you still feel feel your past in the wind, touch it on the stones washed away by the rain and taste it in the bitter leaves of a plant? Do you know that almost lesser know cultures(tribal/enlightening) on the edge of the world are extinct or endangered? And you can't really interpret what they thought or taught from their journey of life cos you speak their language, neither do they. Reminds me of Morrison's excerpt from one of his poem's where he ask's an american indian "Indian-Indian what did you die for? ..Indian says nothing at all" [sic]
I totally believe in all prophecies, because its only sensible to do so. I believe we really don't deserve to co-exist on this planet. So say your prayers and let the good times roll till you meet your end.
September 5, 2011
They're getting dumber
Prologue - I ain't no societal critic, a conceited cunt and neither do I regard myself as a perfect 'wine taster' at things. But umm.
So here's the thing, I have a problem with people. I just fail to understand their awfully insipid choices, especially when they have options, and not so surprisingly, yep! you guessed it - better options! Why would every damned movie buggers like Salman Khan feature in turns to make so much money at the box office? That guy's got like top grossers coming one after the other. Just read in the news of his latest work of idiocy has already a top gross in week1 or something and it's about to break all overseas record! Well, if it isn't some really good PR, isn't the fact to be-wil-dering to you!? It scared the shit outta me! I think the contemporary cinema is more about the dough these days, its indeed a corporation thriving on moneys sourced from public boredom. Top grosses can be attributed to the immensely overpriced cost of watching a movie (starting from Rs 200 goes all the way upto 900 in the 'gold' class) amongst other things. No one really goes for a movie alone, so you can do your maths there. It's crazy. Shelling out almost 500 bucks for a movie? Not so long ago, I used to watch all good movies I intended to watch at Priyas for 20-50 bucks. Depending on the seats. In what we shall out for a movie alone, the whole jingbang used to make merry inside the theater. I just hate these fucking multiplexes. Bloody overpriced harlots.
Moreover, its not about the money. It's about collective societal intelligence. If that exists at all. We're getting so dumb as time flies by. Firstly, we now only make useless senseless cinema(read movies), it's almost like commercial cinema is the new carrier for selling things to the public. It's just like any other commercial on the idiot box. Secondly, for the people who actually watch such movies, isn't there any sense of anything left in you Satan's little helpers!
Fuck you all.
So here's the thing, I have a problem with people. I just fail to understand their awfully insipid choices, especially when they have options, and not so surprisingly, yep! you guessed it - better options! Why would every damned movie buggers like Salman Khan feature in turns to make so much money at the box office? That guy's got like top grossers coming one after the other. Just read in the news of his latest work of idiocy has already a top gross in week1 or something and it's about to break all overseas record! Well, if it isn't some really good PR, isn't the fact to be-wil-dering to you!? It scared the shit outta me! I think the contemporary cinema is more about the dough these days, its indeed a corporation thriving on moneys sourced from public boredom. Top grosses can be attributed to the immensely overpriced cost of watching a movie (starting from Rs 200 goes all the way upto 900 in the 'gold' class) amongst other things. No one really goes for a movie alone, so you can do your maths there. It's crazy. Shelling out almost 500 bucks for a movie? Not so long ago, I used to watch all good movies I intended to watch at Priyas for 20-50 bucks. Depending on the seats. In what we shall out for a movie alone, the whole jingbang used to make merry inside the theater. I just hate these fucking multiplexes. Bloody overpriced harlots.
Moreover, its not about the money. It's about collective societal intelligence. If that exists at all. We're getting so dumb as time flies by. Firstly, we now only make useless senseless cinema(read movies), it's almost like commercial cinema is the new carrier for selling things to the public. It's just like any other commercial on the idiot box. Secondly, for the people who actually watch such movies, isn't there any sense of anything left in you Satan's little helpers!
Fuck you all.
September 4, 2011
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